REFURB’S GUIDE TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION
- Loudly state your opinion
- Fall over
- Pull out 10 knives
this is basically Loki’s method of conflict resolution too, right?
(Source: refurbthecat)
okay so, the other top 3/5/10 questions were @scintillatingshortgirl19 and @veliseraptor asking for the best fics I read in 2018, which is a great thing to do because I read a lot of great fics last year and I definitely want to plug more of my favorites, but it’s also slightly difficult because I’d probably want to go back through my AO3 history for the entire year rather than just trying to think of several off the top of my head, because I get really obsessive about this kind of thing.
so instead I’m going to answer a slightly easier question that nobody really asked, which is: top 5 fics I wrote last year. and actually this kind of has been asked, at some point probably months ago, because Lise and wmndarklord (that username no longer exists, so I’m not sure if they changed their username or they’re not on Tumblr at all anymore) tagged me in a meme to list my 5 favorite fics I’ve written ever, so narrowing that down to “5 favorite fics I wrote in 2018″ is easier and seasonally appropriate!
it should probably surprise no one to learn that all 5 are Loki fics.
exit, pursued by tentacles. honestly it’s a weird mix of cracky humor and heartfelt Brodinson stuff, all based on me taking a Funko short too seriously and getting upset about it, which doesn’t sound like it should result in a decent fic but I really like what I ended up writing. I think the funny and serious stuff is pretty well balanced, and I established the scenario without a ton of infodumping. plus Loki gets to fuck with Dr. Strange and that’s very important.
all turn to fire. Infinity War speculation fic that I didn’t finish until after IW came out internationally and spoilers were available, so it’s at a weird intersection of speculation and AU. this is also kind of an odd one for various reasons, especially because I made a couple assumptions based on the trailer (that the Statesman had crashed on a planet, mainly, which I then had to connect to Thor floating in space) and then had to work hard to make the fic fit those assumptions when canon was actually more straightforward, to the point that I don’t have any plans of continuing it like I said I might because canon is a simpler place to start for any AUs…and the process of writing it was kind of agonizing given that I meant to finish it well before IW actually came out but then I ended up frantically trying to finish it while knowing spoilers existed…but I recently reread this and I really, really like a lot of what I did with it. lots of good lines, solid dialogue (from a bunch of different characters, even), and I remember the attempted escape being incredibly hard to write but on reread I’m just like “hey good job, Past Me, this is suspenseful and tightly written!”
I am a time bomb ticking away the hours to blow your world apart. not to blow my own horn or anything but I think this whole IW fix-it concept is pretty great, in part because everything in canon backs up my interpretation of Thanos’s motives and it all just…fits. the way Loki reveals everything worked well too, once I figured out how to arrange all the pieces, and writing it was cathartic given how pissed I still am about…the whole thing. this one got a great response, too, with a few people even saying they’d never thought about Thanos’s bullshit motivations that way but I was right. and I like the way I ended it.
in that bright land to which I go. also cathartic for different reasons. I wrote it to make myself feel better about Loki and that’s what it did, and in general it helped me work through some of the ways I’ve always struggled with the idea of death. several commenters said it made them feel better too, about Loki specifically and life in general, which was wonderful to hear. and I think…wrestling with this in the context of Loki’s life and death and getting those thoughts down in this fic…I think it actually helped when Scully died, because by then I was better able to feel what I was saying there, that things aren’t pointless just because they end.
I will kiss you till your breath is found, a.k.a. the Grandthorki fic I wrote for @loxxxlay, which I spent a lot of time screaming about because it’s the most explicit thing I’ve ever written and also quite possibly the most fucked-up thing I’ve ever written so I was wildly insecure about it in about five different ways (is it not fucked up enough? too fucked up? does the sex stuff sound reasonable or does it sound like it was written by a somewhat sex-repulsed ace kid who learned 90% of what she knows about sex in general and m/m sex specifically from fanfic? does this whole mess, you know, work). but when people liked it enough to pacify my insecurities, I realized actually it was…maybe really good? in general I think it’s a decent IW fix-it with a nice reunion for Thor and Loki, and then when things get fucked up I think, probably, it’s the good kind of fucked up and I made it work. also the Grandmaster’s dialogue was fun to write, and I think I did a good job showing emotions effectively. like, the whole reaction paragraph where the Grandmaster first puts his hand around Loki’s throat–I never use the word “fear” or “terror” or anything like that, but what he’s feeling is (I hope) viscerally clear.
main goal for the weekend: try to get some stuff done while also trying really hard not to hate myself for all the things I meant to do but didn’t during my 4 days off
currently sitting here doing pretty much nothing because before I do anything else I really need to walk Hazy before it gets any darker outside, and I don’t want to, because it’s 8° F and feels like 3°
clearly off to a good start
I barely even go here but you know what’s a cross-fandom ship that needs to be more popular? Valkyrie from the MCU and Sara Lance from DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. I mean come on, they’re both hot, incredibly badass bisexual disasters with massive amounts of swagger who could have chemistry with a brick wall (and even if you put it in current canon, I feel like if anybody could get Ava interested in a threesome, it would be Val), it’s basically perfect and I don’t know why I’m not seeing this all over my dash all the time
main goal for the weekend: try to get some stuff done while also trying really hard not to hate myself for all the things I meant to do but didn’t during my 4 days off
I’ll need a distraction. And an eyeball.
Why does everyone always quote Hawkeye but never remember this was his idea?
I’d like to direct the audience’s attention to the fact that Loki looks away right before he plunges that thing into that guy’s eyeball. He is completely stony-faced and he can’t even make himself look at what he’s doing. He didn’t plunge the weapon into the eyeball with murderous glee; he plunged it in there the way a squeamish person might stick themselves with an Epi-pen - quickly, efficiently, wanting it to be over as fast as possible so that they can get to the end result and be done with it.
The end result, for Loki, is this distraction but more than that, it’s the attention. Loki isn’t smiling about the gruesome thing he’s doing to this poor, innocent man; he’s smiling because to be feared is to have power and Loki is mad on power-lust. Influenced, certainly, but the desperate need for power and control, to feel strong and valued and worthy is Loki through and through. He has all the power in the world in this moment, and he knows it. The eye is a trifle, really, when compared to all that reward. So he’ll do the dirty work to get there.
I point this out because there’s an idea or an image of Loki as this murderous, bloodthirsty villain but he really isn’t, and nothing highlights that more than the fact that at the height of his madness and mind-influence, he can’t even take pleasure in sticking whatever that thing is into an insignificant human being’s eyeball. It’s nothing more than a means to an end that, at the crucial moment, he can’t even force himself to watch himself do.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
And people say Loki is the unnecessarily dramatic one. Honestly I think this is a great example of how Loki, in his natural state, tends to be more quiet and subtle than Thor.
(via lindamarieanson)
okay so, the other top 3/5/10 questions were @scintillatingshortgirl19 and @veliseraptor asking for the best fics I read in 2018, which is a great thing to do because I read a lot of great fics last year and I definitely want to plug more of my favorites, but it’s also slightly difficult because I’d probably want to go back through my AO3 history for the entire year rather than just trying to think of several off the top of my head, because I get really obsessive about this kind of thing.
so instead I’m going to answer a slightly easier question that nobody really asked, which is: top 5 fics I wrote last year. and actually this kind of has been asked, at some point probably months ago, because Lise and wmndarklord (that username no longer exists, so I’m not sure if they changed their username or they’re not on Tumblr at all anymore) tagged me in a meme to list my 5 favorite fics I’ve written ever, so narrowing that down to “5 favorite fics I wrote in 2018″ is easier and seasonally appropriate!
it should probably surprise no one to learn that all 5 are Loki fics.
exit, pursued by tentacles. honestly it’s a weird mix of cracky humor and heartfelt Brodinson stuff, all based on me taking a Funko short too seriously and getting upset about it, which doesn’t sound like it should result in a decent fic but I really like what I ended up writing. I think the funny and serious stuff is pretty well balanced, and I established the scenario without a ton of infodumping. plus Loki gets to fuck with Dr. Strange and that’s very important.
all turn to fire. Infinity War speculation fic that I didn’t finish until after IW came out internationally and spoilers were available, so it’s at a weird intersection of speculation and AU. this is also kind of an odd one for various reasons, especially because I made a couple assumptions based on the trailer (that the Statesman had crashed on a planet, mainly, which I then had to connect to Thor floating in space) and then had to work hard to make the fic fit those assumptions when canon was actually more straightforward, to the point that I don’t have any plans of continuing it like I said I might because canon is a simpler place to start for any AUs…and the process of writing it was kind of agonizing given that I meant to finish it well before IW actually came out but then I ended up frantically trying to finish it while knowing spoilers existed…but I recently reread this and I really, really like a lot of what I did with it. lots of good lines, solid dialogue (from a bunch of different characters, even), and I remember the attempted escape being incredibly hard to write but on reread I’m just like “hey good job, Past Me, this is suspenseful and tightly written!”
I am a time bomb ticking away the hours to blow your world apart. not to blow my own horn or anything but I think this whole IW fix-it concept is pretty great, in part because everything in canon backs up my interpretation of Thanos’s motives and it all just…fits. the way Loki reveals everything worked well too, once I figured out how to arrange all the pieces, and writing it was cathartic given how pissed I still am about…the whole thing. this one got a great response, too, with a few people even saying they’d never thought about Thanos’s bullshit motivations that way but I was right. and I like the way I ended it.
in that bright land to which I go. also cathartic for different reasons. I wrote it to make myself feel better about Loki and that’s what it did, and in general it helped me work through some of the ways I’ve always struggled with the idea of death. several commenters said it made them feel better too, about Loki specifically and life in general, which was wonderful to hear. and I think…wrestling with this in the context of Loki’s life and death and getting those thoughts down in this fic…I think it actually helped when Scully died, because by then I was better able to feel what I was saying there, that things aren’t pointless just because they end.
I will kiss you till your breath is found, a.k.a. the Grandthorki fic I wrote for @loxxxlay, which I spent a lot of time screaming about because it’s the most explicit thing I’ve ever written and also quite possibly the most fucked-up thing I’ve ever written so I was wildly insecure about it in about five different ways (is it not fucked up enough? too fucked up? does the sex stuff sound reasonable or does it sound like it was written by a somewhat sex-repulsed ace kid who learned 90% of what she knows about sex in general and m/m sex specifically from fanfic? does this whole mess, you know, work). but when people liked it enough to pacify my insecurities, I realized actually it was…maybe really good? in general I think it’s a decent IW fix-it with a nice reunion for Thor and Loki, and then when things get fucked up I think, probably, it’s the good kind of fucked up and I made it work. also the Grandmaster’s dialogue was fun to write, and I think I did a good job showing emotions effectively. like, the whole reaction paragraph where the Grandmaster first puts his hand around Loki’s throat–I never use the word “fear” or “terror” or anything like that, but what he’s feeling is (I hope) viscerally clear.
erlkonigstochter asked: Top 3 purchases of 2018? Just things you bought that you’re really glad you have. And top 3 accomplishments that make you the happiest, regardless of how big or small the achievement was because they’re all important if they make you happy!
…considering how much stuff I buy, I’m having a really hard time thinking of things, which…is probably a good sign I need to buy less stuff given that apparently a lot of it isn’t hugely memorable >_< okay, let’s see, I don’t know if I can say “top 3″ purchases because the thing I forget about asking for these questions is that trying to rank things makes me antsy, but I love the Thor and Loki pins I got from @muffinshark; they live on my bulletin board at work so I’m like “HI PIN FRIENDS” all the time. oh, and the stuff I got from @foxflightstudios‘ LGBT Armory, it’s all so beautiful and my Mace Ace pin also lives on my office bulletin board. and…let’s go with the rainbow necklace I got on Etsy, because it’s a cute way to queer up whatever I’m wearing. (digging through Instagram in an attempt to remember significant purchases also reminded me of two things I regret not buying this year: the Skull Island set with Tom Hiddleston’s character when it was super cheap, and a second Disney Infinity Loki at Value Village because I could have repainted his cape in queer colors and I didn’t think of that until it was too late. situations like this are why I buy and keep too many things.)
as for top 3 accomplishments that made me happy, 2018 was kind of interesting for me because I did several things for the first time (whether or not they really count as accomplishments) and I probably want to make another post about that in general, but…well, the tattoo is a big one, because I’ve wanted a tattoo for ages but I finally figured something out and went for it even though it freaked me out. getting back into cosplay is similar, given that going to ECCC was complicated but I made it happen and I’m proud of the cosplay I did for it (AoU Wanda and Avengers Academy Loki), and in some ways I’m even more proud of the Stuttgart Loki and Final Pam cosplays I did for Senshi Con because parts of them were pretty damn complicated but I made them happen too. and…finishing Silent Hill 3 and Silent Hill 2, probably? I love them both a lot in different ways, and it’s nice having my own familiarity with such a major piece of pop culture that hits a lot of my buttons.
fairytalesandimaginings asked: Top 5 favourite animals?
hmmm. dogs are way up there, obviously. foxes are great. I’d love to hang out with a capybara because apparently they’re just like, chill friends with everybody. red pandas are super adorable. annnnd…dolphins were my favorite for years so I’ll just go with that.
The other thing about this hair at this length isn’t just that it gets in my face and potentially smudges my glasses if it’s not pinned back (what’s the right amount of wax to keep it in place without getting gross? We just don’t know); it’s also that I look like I’m trying to be Titanic-era Leo deCaprio and/or a member of a 90s boy band
dear Past Me: fuck you for not using any type of meta tag consistently (or at all for at least two years), how exactly am I supposed to figure out if there are non-original posts I want to save when YOU DIDN’T GIVE THEM ANY USEFUL TAGS
or even original posts for that matter, because if using the original post finder taught me nothing else, it showed me that I’ve made a lot of original posts over the years and most of them are not very interesting
